“Be seen, Madison Walker.”

I froze at the boom of his voice, afraid of what awaited me on the other side of the massive wooden door. The preacher kindly opened it, gesturing for me to step inside. At first, I wasn’t sure if the darkness was my eyes adjusting from the light pouring through the hallway windows. But as the preacher shut the door, I could hardly tell if my eyes were open or close.

I could hear him breathing, a steady in and out. I could only assume it was minutes before I started to feel awkward? No, vulnerable. He knew my name, but other than referring to him as a Valentine, I knew almost nothing about him. For a moment, I swore I could hear the steady rhythm of my heart, I wondered if he could as well?

“Madison.” He whispered my name. I didn’t know if I should respond? He said it like I was a curiosity, not an invitation to speak. Did he know my life story? Did he know about my thesis? I had seen him once as a child, kindly greeting the kids as they headed into the church for Visionary School. Other than the crooked smile, I hardly recalled anything about the man. Who was he? Why Nostradamus? What journey brought him to this moment? I had questions about this man, about this human and his chosen path. 

“I see you.” I barely whispered the words. It is a mantra used by the Church of Nostradamus. I said those words often as I stared into the chipped bathroom mirror. The affirmation always started with those words, reminding myself to see the entirety of who I am. I am a black woman, a bold and curious person with hopes, dreams and both rifled with fear. I am as Nostradamus predicted and so much more.

The single candle rested on a pedestal. I didn’t hear the match strike or the torch ignite, all of a sudden there was a flickering light. He was younger than I remembered, the white only beginning to creep into his beard. Based on the robes, I almost expected to see stone walls like you find in the ancient churches. It had been so long since Visionary School, I didn’t know if I should bow. I couldn’t recall his title, it was all quite humbling, and embarrassing. Mostly embarrassing.

“Your eyes ask the questions you fear to speak.” I’m not embellishing. If I was to say those words aloud, you’d think I got hit in the head. But coming from him, it was insightful. I had so many questions, I had them written down on my phone, but it seemed foolish to take it out. I hadn’t prioritized them and there were at least a hundred, some easy, some certainly requiring stories.

“Any of our order can provide you scholarly wisdom. I believe there is something more pressing.”

I was seven again. Visionary School we listened to the tales of Nostradamus and how he foresaw all that we know today. Children drew the man’s likeness, taking extra care to color in his all-seeing eyes. The church elders spoke of a time Nostradamus sent an angel to protect the Children to ward away evil. My father’s work referenced the angel and I always wondered if she had curly hair like my own. My father assured me that any angel would be lucky to have my tight curls.

My eyes were close to watering. “Can you see my father?” I tried to prepare myself to talk about my father and his work without getting emotional. I hardly made it five words and I thought I might burst into tears. Nostradamus teaches to embrace our hearts as much as our minds. The moment I said it, I realized that had been my burning question.

“No.” He closed his eyes and held his arms out wide. “But, you can.”

The room transformed in front of my eyes. We were in my apartment, except my father was pouring over his journals scribbling notes on a pad of paper. I hadn’t seen him in forever. I didn’t care that it was a memory. The lines across his brow were scrunched up while he pounded away at the paper. It remembered that day. I came running into the room and insisted he get away from work for a while. I lured him away from his work so we could take a stroll in the park. I cried when I reached for his hand and my hand passed through the illusion. 

“How are you…”

“Do you remember why we call ourselves Valentines?”

“The founder was named Valentine.”

“A slight lie. Eleanor Valentine was a psychic from the 20th century. Like Nostradamus, she predicted the future and helped to right the wrongs of mankind. Much of what we know of the woman are stories handed down from elder to initiate. Valentines have sworn to use their gifts to do the same.”

I could hardly believe it. I thought he was a Child of Nostradamus, but a mentalist? A real living mentalist? I thought that was a legend, or perhaps a Child masquerading as a mentalist. I didn’t care about my thesis in that moment, I wanted to hear this man’s stories. It was a gift, him revealing the inner workings of the church. Thankfully the revelation didn’t quite pertain to my thesis. I’m not entirely sure I’d be allowed to reveal this information.

“I can not predict the future as the Daughter of Nostradamus could. But I can see into the mind of a single person. Thanks to the technology developed by the church I am able to share these visions with those in need. Your mind seeks answers, but your heart, your heart keeps you here, in this moment. There is a reason you’ve yet to discover.”

The Valentine moved through the illusion, standing next to the desk. He beckoned me forward and pointed at the pad of paper as my father continued scribbling. I hovered over him and he was circling a single word.

Outlands.

I had been spinning my wheels with this thesis I hadn’t considered aligning my work with my father might actually send me walking in his footsteps. The rest of my questions seemed trivial, but I had to ask to distract me from my father. From there we discussed the Children of Nostradamus. My recorder eventually ran out and the man ended the conversation with, “We shall meet only once more, Madeline Walker.” The door opened as if by magic and I took my leave, giving a slight bow, because how do you show gratitude to the man who just rifled through your memories? 

Outlands.